Im one of those people that doesnt remember too many dreams. But in the past few weeks Ive had two dreams that I could recall when I woke up. And both of these dreams involved zombies.

In both these dreams these zombies must be killed because, if you dont know, zombies are evil. So I proceed to kill these zombies. During my latest dream I used a hammer to bash in the skull of the zombie. It was quite graphic and horrific.

My friend Julia asked me what she thought these dreams meant to me. I responded by saying, It means I hate zombies. Simple enough.

But, this actually brings up a theological question -- Is it a sin to hate zombies? Being a Christian I try to follow what the good book teaches. But the Bible doesnt mention zombies. Lazurus wasnt really a zombie because he actually came back to life. Zombies are bodies reanimated with only the most basic of motor functions. And what more basic function is there - than to eat tasty brains?

There is that passage in Ezekiel where skeltons are reanimated for a short while, and I think thats pretty close. But they werent really out to eat tasty brains.

You see Im supposed to love my enemies. And I would consider someone who wants to eat my tasty brains an enemy. So am I supposed to love zombies as well?

This leads to an even larger question. Is it a sin to kill a zombie? Well, self-defense isnt murder in any justice system including Christianity. But what about before the body is resurrected? What if you know that someones body is going to be resurrected as a zombie? Is it a sin to kill it before it starts to go after your tasty brains? Its not really self-defense at this point but a pre-emptive strike. As everyone knows - all zombies are evil so once its resurrected, it WILL try to kill someone. So is it a sin if you kill a zombie before its resurrected?

I would have to say its only murder if you are killing something with a soul. Like its not a sin to kill a cow, weeds or The Terminator none of them have souls. But with humans, of course, its different.

I would think that because these humans have already died and they have no soul left - you cant really kill them again. Youre just helping the body stop moving and stopping them from eating tasty brains.

So I have come to the conclusion that it is not a sin to either hate or kill zombies.

My conscience can now be at peace.

Arent you glad I am here to answer these burning theological questions?

Conrad of www.decapolis.com